Nightfall Fears
by shinidamachu
Summary: I don't really have an excuse for this, I just had this first scene in my head for a while and then one thing lead to another, so… have some Inukag angst (featuring Miroku). I apologize in advance for any inconsistency with canon.


"DIE, INUYASHA!" The words hit him almost as the same time as the arrow did — but with the same intensity — pinning him to the Sacred Tree, making his chest burn and his eyes open wide in excruciating pain.

InuYasha knew that pain way too well. In his entire life, there were very few things he was truly grateful for and one of them was the absolute certain that he would never have to experience such agony again.

 _Again?_

The part of his mind that wasn't submerged in ache tried to dissolve his confusion while the half demon instinctively looked to the scene around him, the one he knew by heart.

The emptiness in his right hand, where the Shikon no Tama was supposed to be, was the first thing he noticed. Imagining he must have dropped it somewhere near the Goshinboku, InuYasha looked down, hoping to see the jewel forgotten on the floor. The mere moviment made him clench his teeth in pain and he found nothing there beyond grass, moving meekly with the breeze.

But something else caught the hanyou's attention — a glimpse of ordered beads interspersed with white fangs, highlighted by the burning red of his Fire Rat. The Kotodama no Nenju.

 _How could it be?_

InuYasha frowned in spite of the dreadful wound in his chest. Now that he thought about it, the light that came with the arrow had been uncannily black, opposing the usual tone of pink, and the voice of the priestess who had once again sealed him to the tree wasn't Kikyo's. He recalled now how different it had sounded to his ears — wrong, somehow — before the injury distracted him from anything else. It was higher, sharper. It sounded disturbingly like…

"Kagome." InuYasha exhaled with difficulty, finally staring at the relentless miko in front of him. She adamantly placed another arrow on the bow string, her fierce expression letting him know just how much she despised him. His chest ached for a whole different reason now. "What… are you… doing?" He barely managed to say.

"What I should have done long ago." Kagome answered, cold as the arrowhead burried inside of him. "Aren't you the one who wanted to go to hell with her? Then I'm the one who's gonna send you there."

InuYasha considered the woman, searching for anything at all that suggested she wasn't being serious or, if she was, that she was an impostor — the Kagome he knew could never be that ruthless and he knew Kagome better than he knew himself.

The half demon found the sign he was looking for hanging around her neck. The Shikon no Tama attached to the priestess necklace shined in a morbid tone of black, completed at last.

"The jewel… is controlling you!" A blend of panic and relief flooded through his soul and every new word seemed to came out of his mouth weaker than the previous one, his breath becoming unbearable. "Snap out of it… Kagome!"

"Shut up!" She roared, her short breath making her chest go up and down furiously. "This is _your_ fault. I didn't ask for any of this."

"Kagome…" Even though the Shikon no Tama was possessing her, he knew she was right. He should have been there for her like she had always been for him. InuYasha had been so focused on not making the same mistakes he made with Kikyo that he didn't even realize the new ones he was making with Kagome. Now it was all he could do to ask himself how they ended up this way and to pray it wasn't too late. "… _Please!_ "

"I was doing just fine beforeyou came into my life _._ I was _happy._ " Her voice caressed the last word nostalgically and InuYasha closed his eyes, trying to ease the pain both her arrow and words had inflicted to his heart. "Now look at me. _LOOK AT ME!_ "

The hanyou did as she told, hoping that by cooperating he would gain the time needed to recover his body's moviments, which seemed to have abandoned him altogether since the priestess attached him to the tree. If he could rip the arrow off, he could run to Kagome and do the same thing with the jewel, setting her free. The chances of doing that before the next arrow hit him were low to say the least, but he had to try.

"You're not… yourself." InuYasha stated, his voice failing in strange places.

"I can _feel_ they poisoning my heart. The jealousy, the anger… and all these terrible feelings that I _can't_ get rid of. And it's all because of you." Kagome proceeded, as if he hasn't spoken at all, her teeth clenched. It felt like she was about to cry, but he couldn't smell the tears. Or the blood spilling from his injury. Or anything else, for that matter. The hanyou frowned again. _Why couldn't he?_ "That's what you made me: a selfish monster just like you. I _hate you_."

"That… ain't true! You… know that ain't… true!" Whatever strength he still had left was slipping through his fingers but InuYasha would be damned if he died without letting her know the truth he had learned for a while now. "You love me… and I… love you."

He swallowed the groan of pain that was erupting from his throat and observed as she slowly let the bow down, her determination failing while she blinked the tears away. For a brief moment, InuYasha allowed himself to have hope, but they were crushed when she shaked her head violently, the merciless expression returning to her face.

"All I _ever_ did was loving you. Look how that turned out." Kagome left the bow fall to the ground. "I should never had taken Kikyo's arrow off. But this one will do just fine." She said, referring to the arrow spiked deep inside of him. Turning around, Kagome started walking. "Goodbye, InuYasha."

Desperation crept into his mind as he useless tried to fight through to the soreness to stop her. He _had_ to. The pain seemed to increase considerably with every step she took and he couldn't bear the vision of Kagome getting further and further away from him.

"Wait!"

"I'm coming home where I belong. And I'm never coming back." She didn't bother to grant him a last look in spite of his screams, helpless calling her name — or the closest thing to it he could voice. It didn't matter. She was gone ans there was no point on fighting anymore. InuYasha closed his eyes, defeated.

 _This is the part where either I die or the sleeping spell starts working_ , the half demon thought, no really minding which one it would be. He waited for the sweet unconsciousness, ready to embrace it with a smile for the next fifty years — it didn't even feel like much now — or more, but it never came. _Why am I still wake_? He just wanted the pain to be over.

" _Wake up!_ " Rushed a distant voice that definitively didn't belong there. The half demon knew that voice, which didn't stop him from ignoring it. Wasn't he awake alredy? "InuYasha, _wake up_!"

The half demon came to consciousness with the same despair of someone who had just scaped drowning, his lungs begging for air, his eyes meeting the serenity of the indigo ones who had piously woken him from the nightmare.

Although being deeply thankful to him, the monk's eyes weren't the ones InuYasha needed to see to regain his lost peace. The hanyou got rid of Miroku's hands and left the spot he had fallen asleep on to approach Kagome, the real Kagome. She slept serenely, face down like usual.

It looked like he was gonna have to wait until the dawn, but for now InuYasha was content just to watch her face, to hear her heavy breath and to let the fire he knew burned bright inside of her dissipate the coldness his imagination insisted was still in his chest — an ungrateful reminder of the bad dream.

"The same nightmare again?" Miroku had taken his place, sitting with his back against the tree just like InuYasha was a moment ago.

"Yeah. Except it wasn't Naraku or one of his incarnations this time, it was the Shikon no Tama possessing her." It made no sense to lie. Miroku had woken him after the bad dream tainted his mind for the first time, three days ago, when Kagura and the infant kidnapped Kagome. The monk had noticed how the nightmare had disturbed him and refused to let it go until he talked about it.

Of course, InuYasha had conveniently left out some details. It would hurt too much to say Kagome's harsh words out loud, and the whole 'I love you' part was a dangerous territory to walk even if he could.

The half demon would be lying if he said talking about it hadn't made him feel better, but given the choice, he would rather keep it all to yourself. After all, talking about the nightmares didn't stop them from coming.

"That's three nights in a row."

"Don't ya think I know that?" His eyes still rested on Kagome's face, partially hiden by her onyx hair. He wanted to pull them off to reveal her beautiful traits but was too afraid that she would wake up and of whatever interpretation Miroku would give to the gesture. It was fine. He was used to loving her from distance.

"Isn't it strange how the same person can inspire both our wildest dreams and worst nightmares?" He asked, contemplatively.

"Shaddup! Who's dreaming about her?" The response came in an angry whisper instead of the usual exasperated screams, careful not to wake the rest of the group.

"You're not nearly as subtle as you think you are, my friend." Miroku answered, the tease in his voice never sounded more infuriating.

"What 'bout you?"

" _What_ about me?" Asked him, genuinely curious.

"You were the one who woke me in each time. Shouldn't _you_ have been sleeping?" Now he felt like a fool for not having noticed it sooner, but the fears his bad dreams inflicted to his mind didn't left room for much else. At the same time, InuYasha was proud of himself for changing the course of the conversation to something else. Miroku let out a long sigh.

"You must have realized it too. The recent activities of Naraku's incarnations can only mean that everything will be over soon. For better or for worse."

"Scared, aren't ya?" InuYasha mocked, hoping Miroku would provoke him back, to the point where he could say out loud that he wasn't afraid — only repeating it in his head didn't cause the same effect.

"Terrified." For the first time his eyes left Kagome to stare at the monk. "I just… I don't want to leave any unfinished business." InuYasha followed Miroku's gaze, unsurprised to find Sango at the end of it, sleeping undisturbedly with Shippo's head resting on her stomach. " _If_ we don't win, that is."

"We will." Was his assured reply, because what other choice did they have? The monk nodded.

"You know, you saved her. That's all that matters for now. Stop beating yourself up."

"I almost lost her, Miroku." A little bit longer and he would have. Not amount of comforting words could change that.

"You didn't. Kagome-Sama has the strongest heart I know." After a moment of hesitation, Miroku continued: "but if you are really worried, you should be more considerate of her feelings, InuYasha. There are more than one way of losing someone."

Sometimes it scared him how intuitive Miroku could be. The hanyou remained silent, his attention turning back to the girl of the future. He could see her slightly curved up lips through the dark river that it was her hair, indicating she was having a good dream and InuYasha was glad that, between the two of them, she was the one who still could.

Miroku didn't speak again, but InuYasha knew he was wake. It seemed that any possibility of fallen asleep had been ruined for them — not that the half demon had plans of sleeping any time soon.

Haunted by the memories of things that never happened, he waited for the sunrise.

* * *

A/N: to the amazing morikothehalfangel who has always been a complete sweetheart to me. I hope you enjoy (it's okay if you don't, I promisse to do better next time).


End file.
